What is going to happen next in my life? How quickly will my hair fall out? Are the people who are my friends today going to move to Switzerland never to be seen again? Will anyone in London say 'yes' to a social engagement being diarised (I know you love that word) less than two weeks in advance?
These are some of the questions my mind wanders to in idle moment, leading off with the most important about the hair. I know there are other concerns but not being a homeowner I am not that bothered by the drop in house prices. I don't fancy a global economic recession much though.
It is exciting to think that even my mistakes can be turned into something worthwhile in the hands of an infinitely wise and compassionate Creator. I learned this making a few real mingers and that He has been able to work out pretty well. It's not that I am planning any more exactly but today I feel a confidence that once the mess is in his hands, it can work out all right.
If I break my leg today, he might make me into a shoes salesmen tomorrow. If I lose my hat in the wind today, something else might blow into my life tomorrow. My soul, yes, pours out of those holes (M Kozelek - Red House Painters) but something good is gonna grow out of them tomorrow.
The people urging me to stay on the boat (Sensational Nightingales - Stay On The Boat CD) are making a powerful biblical story into a good gospel song but is that all? No, they are singing out of their experience that if you hang in there it will work itself out. Believing that in the middle of the chaos is a matter of faith but not blind faith. You wouldn't sing the song if it hadn't proved true for you and wouldn't try to communicate it if it wasn't something you thought others could rely on.
Is it so hard to believe that things will be OK in the end if I trust in God? After all, I didn't create myself, all I created was the mess. If I can get out of the way long enough the Choreogrpaher can get moving and starting putting it all back together. This believe is, in a sense, a call to live since both fear of making a mistake and a superstitious view of God's will are both counteracted by the sentiment of the principle. As a man said: Romans 8.28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.